Don’t Tell Me What to Do

Recently, a well-meaning person had a number of “helpful suggestions” for me.  The problem was that this person didn’t really know me, and was making some assumptions about why I did or did not do certain things.  I was trying to be polite and listen, possibly even glean some wisdom, but the longer she talked, the harder I prayed for God to shut her up.  After the fact, I realized it was not so much what she said, but that she had presumed I was in error, and it was her responsibility as a sister in Christ to explain what I needed to do.  I felt judged and accused in her attempt to control and manipulate my behavior.

Not only was I NOT about to follow that advice, I found myself looking at the planks of pride and self-righteousness in her eyes.  Oops, if I’m the viewer, Jesus calls those “specks.”  But perhaps this scripture still explains our encounter: “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? ⁴ How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? ⁵ You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.” (Matthew 7:3-5) To have remembered this instruction in the moment would have served us both well.

However, I did double-check with the Lord to make sure I really wasn’t in error.  Then I had to forgive this woman so that I could receive the lesson He had for me about love.  This sister in Christ had inadvertently pulled the trigger on several wounds from my past.  My negative reaction stood in the way of being able to love her.  Unconditional love was out of the question. But because Jesus did not withhold His love for me based upon my behavior or disobedience, I didn’t have an excuse not to extend the same. “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” (Romans 5:8)  As the recipient of so great a love, how do I move beyond myself to extend His love to others?

I found that admitting I cannot do this was my starting place.  If Jesus said, “I am the Way and the Truth and the Life,” (John 14:6) then I better seize the opportunity to truly know Him as all three. This is One-on-one time where I, through interactive relationship, learn the sound of my Shepherd’s voice (John 10:27).  Hearing His voice clearly necessitates not only spending time with Him, but hiding His Word in my heart to insure what I’m hearing lines up with His heart and truth.  This is experiential learning: communing with Jesus daily, and practicing the obedience of picking up my cross daily to follow Him.  Because my cross is composed of fleshly desires, wounds, errant thinking, and everything that blocks my relationship with Him, it definitely requires daily attention.  Although the death of those things is painful, replacing them with His resurrection life is freeing and glorious.

While unsolicited advice can still be a struggle, I am learning to look beyond people telling me what-to-do for the lesson Jesus has to make me more loving.  Jesus as Wisdom is so faithful: “Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, ‘This is the way; walk in it.’” (Isaiah 30:21)  I love it when Jesus tells me what to do.